Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
