I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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