did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
