so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize