i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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