I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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