no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize