i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
