Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
