I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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