You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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