Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
