the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
