You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
