thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
