I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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