Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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