in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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