i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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