are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
40s are totally the cure
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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