Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
