I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
