You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
How external is "for external use only"?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
