is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
someone owes me an orgasm
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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