just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
