Are we in a gay sports bar?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
