belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
