Dual....:-)
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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