if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize