Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
