If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
