She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
