ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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