So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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