Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
