Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
