i will never coherently bang her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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