Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
