I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
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