We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
