We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sorry about my life...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
