That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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