I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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