I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
