Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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