Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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