I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was born a porn star she said
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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