I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
