That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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