I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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