ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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