I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
