Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
