While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
