i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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