Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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