God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
