hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
