i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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