Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize