you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We got so high we made milksteak
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
