last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
