I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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