i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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