So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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