he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
