we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
