Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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