Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
