does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
