Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
