is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we're so committed to being not committed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
