okay pat passed out under dana's car
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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