This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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